8th Grader Impregnated During Trip To ‘March For Life’ Event | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

by Srikanth

8th Grader Impregnated During Trip To ‘March For Life’ Event | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.

Kind of horrible:
the sign-toting Lambs of Christ activist … is utterly ignorant of the fact that the semen of Kirk Tussle, a 13-year-old fellow church member and pro-life extremist, had completed the capacitation stage and resulted in a fertilized zygote following a fumbling sexual encounter at the Holiday Inn Express where their group had rented several adjoining rooms. ‘Life from conception! No exception!’ At press time, sources close to Pickens predict that after discovering the pregnancy she will drop out of school, isolate herself from friends and family, and suffer crippling postpartum depression.”

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